CrankyCakes

I needed something delicious, vegan and gluten free to bring as the alternate entree for a dinner at our church recently, and I scored some very slightly roughed up eggplants for a good price at our co-op and off I went with this.  It’s got a couple of steps, but the results are seriously great.  Isn’t it nice when your friends are chasing you down for a recipe for something you’ve brought?  Sure, and here it is.

Won’t Miss What Isn’t In It Eggplant Parmigiana
Adapted from Barbara Kafka’s Vegetable Love
Serves 4

Preheat the oven to 500 (yes 500).

1.  Slice lengthwise into 1/4″ thick slices:

• 1 eggplant

Soak in well-salted water for 1/2 hour.

2.  Put a metal (no plastic at all) rack on a baking sheet and put them in the oven to preheat as well.  Once the oven is hot, drain the eggplant, pat it dry, brush generously with:

• olive oil, about 1/4 c. in all

Put slices on the rack and roast for 20-25 minutes, turning once.  When done, the skin will be a bit crisped and the flesh will be soft and tender and not feel as spongy as it did starting out.  Remove from oven and place aside.  Turn oven down to 375.

3. Generously oil an 8″x8″ baking dish and set aside.

4.  Puree together in a blender or food processor or whatever your favorite such device is:

• 1 lb. package extra firm tofu (get organic so you can avoid Frankensoy, ok?)
• 1 T. fresh basil leaves
• 1 t. chopped garlic
• 1/2 t. salt

5.  Measure and place aside:

• 1 1/2 c. homemade or storebought tomato sauce.

6.  Spread 1/4 c. of the sauce on the bottom of the pan, then top with eggplant slices just to cover the pan.  Spoon a total of about 1/3 c. tofu mixture on the eggplant, then top with another 1/4 c. tomato sauce.  Repeat with eggplant and tofu once more, then combine remaining tomato sauce and tofu and pour over the top.  Bake for about 25 minutes, let cool just a little and serve.

My delightful and amazing friend showed up a few weeks ago with a duck and a goose for our freezer.  I had last met the birds as cute little fuzzywumps who were making a temporary stop in her condo on their way to the farm where they were to be raised.

Better, more interesting, and more thoughtful writers have written about the contradiction of loving specific animals and eating them.  But not all of them have a 7- and 4- year old to stage impassioned debates on the issue.

The boys asked what I was bringing down to the basement freezer and I told them.  Z. blanched and said, “But that’s TERRIBLE!”  And he started crying and telling me he wouldn’t eat them.   E. said, “Oh, I want to eat them, Mommy.  I’ll eat their … HEADS!”  So while his brother sobbed, I explained that birds usually don’t have heads by the time they get to someone’s freezer, and we trooped downstairs to peer inside the plastic bag at the birds.  E. nodded.   Z. announced that he was going to be vegetarian.

As the boys continued to loudly process their quest for ethical eating, I wanted to plan a meal around the birds.  Then, before I knew it, Valentine’s Day and Chinese New Year’s were about to coincide and we turned it into a little party.  I started thinking about traditional good luck New Year dishes and Valentine’s fun.

I planned on a sort of mock Peking duck, with the overnight approach of steaming the bird and then roasting it with a glaze on the skin.  But when I went to start them: NO SKIN!  I gasped and started scratching my head, saying something that rhymed with, “duck,” over and over.  What was I going to do?  What possible substitute for skin could there be?   Duck, duck, duck, f …

Then there it was: bacon.

So it was on to plan B.  and making a sort of frosting with palm (unhydrogenated, organic, non-saturated) shortening, molasses and sambal oelek, and rubbing it all over the birds before draping them with lots of thick-cut bacon.  Then I roasted them in a clay-pot cooker to keep as much moisture in as possible.

I cooked them for about 1 3/4 hours at 475, which was when faces began to appear from all directions, asking to snitch a piece or two of bacon.  We then carved the meat and served it with:

• Bacon, since there was no crispy skin
• Wheat tortillas brushed with sesame oil and warmed
• Hoi sin sauce
• Julienned scallion greens
• Scallion brushes (If you make this, don’t skip these!  They look great and will make your guests giggly-happy.)

There were tea eggs.  Here are Sara and her lovely daughter peeling them (and Kim laughing at my silly picture-taking ways):

And General Tso’s Seitan with broccoli, with homemade seitan made with Post Punk Kitchen’s excellent and reliable recipe.

My mom brought the unpictured but delicious Beets with Star Anise from Deborah Madison’s Vegetarian Cooking for Everyone, and made sauce for Sesame-Peanut Noodles (long noodles are a traditional celebration food because they’re associated with long life).

Dessert was truffles, plus Sweet Rice Cake. I love this dish, but I adore sticky gooey things made with glutinous rice.   Besides being a really endearing texture, it’s auspicious for New Year’s because it’s round, signifying family union, and sweet for a sweet new year, and its name in Chinese is a sound-alike for a sort of good wishes expression.

But there were children to consider, so a Western-style dessert was in order.  In the morning, I had thrown together a vegan orange batter for cupcakes, then realized I had left out the baking soda, which I hurried in right before baking.   That was when I had a first-hand experience with what happens when you over-activate your leavening agent.

So I baked the rest as a cake, which worked better for some reason.  Then after dinner, while the children were acting completely insane and were all past their bedtime, a 10-year old guest and I made our silly piece de resistance, which involved the cake, neon-colored 7-minute frosting, black icing gel, and heart sprinkles.  It was a Tiger’s Valentine’s Cake (about which my assistant made sure to remind guests, “No actual tigers were harmed in the making of this dessert”).

And then we sent guests home with cupcakes and collapsed in a fit of sugar and food and good conversation.

Banana-squash muffin with cream cheese frosting.

Oh, the winter has arrived and I’ve stopped home for a quick warm lunch before I go back out into the snow to pick up the boys.  Here’s what I’ll be finishing the last bowl of before I run off, fingers crossed that we get at least a sled run or two in before the snow turns to rain.

This was inspired by a most-delicious soup I recently had.  It’s quick to make if you’ve got the leftover sweet potatoes, good and good for you.    And this being the season of delicious temptations, this version is so virtuous that you should just feel free to eat the 2nd (7th, 12th) mini-quiche or pig in a blanket.

Vary the amounts of the milk and broth as you add them, depending on how moist your sweet potatoes are, and – 0f course – the taste and consistency you want.

Vegan Southwest Sweet Potato Soup
4 dinner servings

• 4 cups leftover mashed sweet potatoes
• 1/4 c. olive oil
• 1/2 – 1 c. soy (or rice, or almond) milk, or whole milk or cream if you’re not concerned with this being vegan
• 1/2 t. kosher salt
• 1 t. smoked paprika
• 1/2 t. chipotle powder (or more to taste)
• 1/4 t. powdered lemon peel
• 1 – 2 c. vegetarian broth (I used the Better than Bouillion ersatz beef variety)

A child of mine eating something with a vegetable in it. Your mileage may vary.

Blend everything in your food processor, blender, immersion blender, or favorite pureeing device until very smooth.  Heat until bubbling and serve.  Some crackers would be nice, as is a sprinkle of chipotle.

I love to save money on food, and get especially cheap when I’m cooking the common meal at cohousing, where we’re supposed to limit the budget to $3.50 per person.  And with all we have going on this month, there was no way that CrankyGreg and I were up for a big complicated affair for 35 people.

But still, of course we wanted something good and reasonably homemade.  So I pulled out this Joanna Vaught recipe for homemade vegan veggie burgers.  This is the one where what matters is the ratio of one thing to another, and so you can substitute any vegetables, any grain, and whatever flavorings you like as long as you stick with these amounts. One note:  don’t skip the gluten, which is what gives these great texture and keeps them sticking together.

Awesome Veggie Burgers

Preheat oven to 375.  Grease a baking sheet and set aside.

Stir together very well until thoroughly combined:

• ~ 1 1/2 cups baked butternut squash, pureed, and 1/2 c. rehydrated dried shiitake mushrooms, chopped fine
  
• 1 1/2 cups protein: Le Puy lentils (cooked), 1/4 cup sunflower seeds, 1/4 cup tahini
  
• 1 1/2 cups grain:  cooked brown rice
• 3/4 cup vital wheat gluten
• 1/4 cup oil and a splash of water (liquid)
  
• 1 T. Bragg’s, 1 t. chopped garlic (liquid seasoning)
  
• 1 t. dried lemon peel,  1/2 t. smoked paprika, 1/2 t. allspice, 1 t. gomasio or sesame seeds

Form into patties, then place on baking sheet (give a little space around each, but they won’t expand like baked goods so don’t worry too much).  Bake for 25 minutes, then carefully flip with a spatula and bake for 20 more, until nicely browned.  Serve in whatever burger-y way you like.  They were great with baked sweet potato fries and a ginger-beet coleslaw for dinner.  But today the last ones were pretty good eaten cold by themselves in the car in between meetings.

Breaded seitan cutlets frying happily away.

Put down that Tofurky!  Don’t torture your vegetarian friends while going broke on their behalf.  With just a few easy steps, and a couple hours of cooking and cooling, you can have a delicious and thrifty vegan alternative.

I grew up eating a lot of Chinese food, and what with 2 1/2 millenia of Buddhism, Chinese cuisines feature some of the most wonderful vegetarian foods.   I’ve always been especially fond of seitan in its many guises.  I like how it’s dense and chewy in a way that’s fairly unique in the veggie protein world.

After I complained about how pricey it’s gotten (nearly $10 a pound from a local company!), a friend clandestinely told me that she had worked out The Best Recipe for it.  But that it was a little complicated, and that it had taken her 9 years to develop, and that she wasn’t sure she could bring herself to share the recipe.

I think I had nearly convinced her to do so when I came across this one from my very favorite vegan blog, Post Punk Kitchen.

I almost felt guilty for having found a recipe that’s so easy, and that costs about a quarter what it would to buy it pre-made.  I’ve made it three times, and haven’t had it fail.  Though it grated on my attention-deficit nature, I followed the instructions exactly, especially about the temperature of the water when the seitan goes in (cold) and the time that the seitan stays in the broth after cooking (a while).

Give it a whirl.   You can double it and freeze some to have around when vegetarian friends drop by, or make it ahead for a holiday dinner.  Your guests will thank you, and you will bask in the glow of gratitude and thriftiness.

Homemade Seitan
From Post Punk Kitchen

Ingredients

• 1 1/2 cups vital wheat gluten flour
• 1/4 cup nutritional yeast flakes
• 1 cup very cold water or vegetable broth
• 1/2 cup soy sauce
• 1 tablespoon tomato paste
• 2 cloves garlic, pressed or grated on a microplane grater
• 1 teaspoon finely grated lemon zest

Simmering Broth

• 10 cups water or vegetable broth
• 1/2 cup soy sauce

Directions

1. In a large bowl, mix together vital wheat gluten and nutritional yeast flakes.
2. In a separate bowl, mix together remaining ingredients: water or broth, soy sauce. tomato paste, garlic, lemon zest.
3. Pour the wet ingredients into the dry and combine with a firm spatula, knead dough for about 3 minutes until a spongy, elastic dough is formed. [It's really cool how the wet mess turns into this spongy thing right before your eyes!] Let dough rest for a couple of minutes and prepare your broth, but don’t start boiling it.
4. Now roll your dough into a log shape about 8 inches long and cut into 3 equal sized pieces. Place the pieces in the broth. It is important that the liquid be very cold when you add the dough, as it helps with the texture and ensures that it doesn’t fall apart. Partially cover the pot (leave a little space for steam to escape) and bring to a boil.
5. When the water has come to a boil set the heat to low and gently simmer for an hour, turning the pieces every now and again.
6. Now you’ve got seitan. Let it cool in the simmering broth for at least a half an hour. It is best if it cools completely.

What you do next depends on the recipe you are using. If it calls for gluten use it as is. If you want to store some of it for later use put it in a sealable container covered in the simmering broth.

I don’t think there’s a food celeb that I love more than Lynn Rosetto Kasper.  When she starts launching in to the intro for The Splendid Table, I start getting all giggly.  Usually the boys have just come home from their dad’s and are hovering near, waiting for lunch, and I’m dawdling by the kitchen radio, listening to Lynn and how she knows about every ingredient under the sun.

Sometime in the last year, I heard a guest talking about real gazpacho, which we Americans, he asserted, have never tried.  This salad-in-a-glass stuff misses the point entirely, as it’s been stripped of the things that make it delicious – namely peasant bread, and olive oil.  Lots of Spanish olive oil.

Nothing wrong with salad-in-a-glass, of course, but I was interested enough to sock the idea away.  And when I was looking for something easy and soup-ish to make for dinner yesterday, I remembered it.  I gave it the full-on pitch as the boys and I were talking about the menu for Monkey Menu Monday, and asked if they’d help me pick the vegetables for it and help tear bread to smithereens.  They nodded solemnly, looking a little confused as to what they were agreeing to, which seemed like a good enough starting place.

So off we went to the garden to hunt for the produce, and we went inside to start.  They kept looking pointedly towards the TV and the copy of the Lion King we had picked up at the library, but I kept us on task until their pleas became verbal and loud.

By the way, parent friends: don’t show your 4 and 6 year old this movie unless you relish a discussion about why evil uncle lions kill their brothers and why vultures circle in the air above cute and sympathetic sleeping lion cubs.  Oy.

But before I knew it, the gazpacho was ready.  And oh geez.  It was incredibly, rapturously, unusually good.  Smooth, creamy, incredibly flavorful, tart and fresh.  CrankyGreg pronounced it, “Exquisite.” My dad stopped by, had some, and then finished the leftovers.

It’s more work than throwing some vegetables in the blender, but nothing too hard.  And you can have your kids help rip up the bread (I used the opportunity to help E. practice some knife skills by cutting the crusts off) and mash up the garlic and squeeze tomatoes.  If they’re like mine that will be the pinnacle of their muy autentico experience, since they’ll hate the soup.  But you will love it, I promise.

I skipped the suggested garnishes because I was sort of done with the chopping and whatnot by the time I had sweated my way to dinner.  But I added in some tempeh croutons (marinate in some oil, vinegar and sprinkle of sea or kosher salt, then broil until browned) for protein, which were good and look awfully cute on the rim of the glass, no?

Authentic Andalusian Gazpacho
From The Splendid Table, adapted from The Greatest Dishes: Around the World in 80 Recipes Serves 6

• Four 1-inch-thick slices day-old coarse country bread from a round loaf, crusts removed, torn into small pieces
• 3 pounds ripest, most flavorful tomatoes possible, washed and quartered [According to TST, "do not use Beefsteak tomatoes."  But why?]
• 4 T. good-quality sherry vinegar, preferably aged
• 3 medium garlic cloves
• Small pinch of cumin seeds or ground cumin
• Coarse sea salt
• 2 firm medium-sized Kirby (pickling) cucumbers, peeled
• 1 medium green bell pepper, cored and seeded
• 1 medium red bell pepper, cored and seeded
• One quarter of a medium red onion, peeled
• 1/2 C. fragrant, fruity extra-virgin Spanish olive oil, preferably from Andalusia
• 1/2 C. bottled spring water, or more to taste

Garnishes (you choose):

• 2 to 3 tablespoons each finely diced cucumbers, peeled green apples, slightly
• underripe tomatoes, and green bell peppers
• Slivered young basil leaves
• Crispy croutons

1. Place the bread in a large bowl, and squeeze out the seeds and some of the juice from the tomatoes over it. Crumble and massage the bread with your fingers. Add 1 tablespoon of the vinegar and let it soak for 5 to 10 minutes.

2. Using a mortar and pestle, pound the garlic to a paste with the cumin and 1/2 teaspoon of salt.

3. Transfer the bread mixture to a food processor along with the garlic paste, and process until completely smooth. Leave this mixture in the food processor while preparing the next step.

4. Chop the tomatoes, cucumbers, red and green peppers, and onion into medium dice. Place the vegetables in a bowl, stir in three large pinches of salt, and let stand for 15 minutes so that the tomatoes throw off some liquid.

5. Working in three batches, process the vegetable mixture in a food processor until as smooth as possible, adding a third of the olive oil to each batch. (The first batch will be processed with the bread mixture.) Transfer each finished batch to a sieve set over a large bowl.

6. Pass the gazpacho through a sieve, pressing on it with the back of a wooden spoon. Whisk in the remaining 3 tablespoons vinegar and the water. Adjust salt to taste. Chill the gazpacho for at least 3 hours before serving. (If making the gazpacho a day ahead, add the garlic 2 to 3 hours before serving, lest it overwhelm the other flavors.) Serve in glass bowls or wine glasses, with your selected garnishes.

Well, no, that can’t be quite right.  How on earth could a lowly little bean puree be macho?  Why, when it’s made into Sweet Potato Hummus by Macheesmo, of course!

I had come across his post a couple of days ago, and because my turn for the August cohousing meal had arrived and I had planned to do a vaguely middle Eastern menu, I had to fit it in.

Then, as usual, I left my laptop at home when I went up to our common house to cook, so I was left to wing it.  I remembered it had tahini in it, I remembered it was spiced, and off we went.

Now that I see Macheesmo’s, I see that I went pretty far afield.  But it was awfully good, and you can now feel free to make one version or the other.

• 1 lb. dried chick peas, cooked and cooled (or 4 cans chick peas, drained and rinsed.  How do I know this is the equivalent?  Here’s how I know this is the equivalent.)
• 1 lb. tahini
• 2 sweet potatoes, baked at 400 for 1 hour, then cooled
• ~1/3 c. olive oil
• juice of 2 limes
• 1 T. smoked paprika
• 3 cloves garlic, chopped fine
• 1/2 t. ground coriander seed
• salt to taste

Put it all in a food processor and blend until very smooth.  You can even get your little one to join in the fun of scooping the beans in.  Not that he’ll try the finished product, no matter that he helped make it and adores hummus and loves sweet potatoes.  No, no, he’ll not eat the result because IT’S NOT WHITE!

Sir Z. blocking the noise of the food processor with his rice bag helmet. Awesome.

Welcome to my first Monkey Menu Monday!  I’m finding myself with the time to pick new ways to engage/annoy my children.  This means things like MMM, in which I sat down with them and this cookbook:

They got excited about the idea of fruit soup.  Then I offered them the choice of some bread we had around, or else popovers, and they picked popovers.  (Good one, guys.)  And then it was Monday afternoon, and we set to it.

Scandinavian Fruit Cup Soup
Whole Foods from the Whole World
4 servings

• 3 T. tapioca
• 2 T. sugar
• salt to taste
• 2 1/2 c. water
• 1 6-ounce can frozen orange juice concentrate (the recipe called for pineapple-orange, but I didn’t find it)
• 2 peaches, peeled & sliced
• 1 c. fresh raspberries
• 1 T. lemon juice

1. Combine tapioca, sugar and a pinch of salt in saucepan; mix well.  Stir in 1 c. water.  Bring mixture to a boil, stirring constantly.  Pour into bowl.

1. Add frozen juice concentrate, stirring until blended.  Add remaining water and mix well.  [When I made it I put all the water in during step 1, with no ill effect.]   Chill until serving time.  Mixture will thicken slightly.
2. Stir in peaches, raspberries, and lemon juice just before serving.

Lesson learned: skip the macro when taking pictures of primordial ooze soup.

Popovers are one of those foods that people get extremely persnickety about – pans, oven temperature, type of milk, etc.  I’ve tried a few variations – batter into preheated pans, batter into cold pans, whole milk, skim milk, soy milk – and I have to tell you the truth:  I don’t think it makes a great difference.  They’re a kid-pleaser and a crowd-pleaser, puffy and delicious and still kind of light.  I just make them in muffin tins, but you can go whole-hog and get an actual popover pan like my friend Robin over at hippoflambe swears by.

Popovers
From Joy of Cooking

Makes 8 large or 12 medium popovers (plan on 3 or 4 per person at least)

• 1 c. unbleached flour
• 1/2 t. salt
• 2 large eggs
• 1 1/4 c. milk
• 1 T. warm melted unsalted butter

1. Preheat oven to 450.  Butter muffin tins/popover pan and set aside.  Some people will coat sides of pan with flour, sugar, or grated Parmesan, but I’ve never done this.  I do, however, put the pan in the oven to preheat too.
2. Whisk flour and salt together in a large bowl (we sifted, because sifting is much more fun).

3.  Whisk eggs, milk and melted butter together in another bowl.
4.  Pour egg mixture over flour mixture and fold just until blended.  It’s okay to have a few small lumps.
5.  Fill cups about 2/3 full, and add water to any unfilled cups so that they don’t scorch.
6.  Bake at 450 for 15 minutes, then 350 for 20 minutes more, until well-browned and a little crusty.  Don’t open the oven to peek until the last 5 minutes of cooking.  Remove from the oven, unmold onto a rack, and puncture sides with a sharp knife to allow steam to escape.  Serve immediately or hold in turned-off oven for up to 30 minutes.

And E. & Z.?  Hated the soup, though E. tolerated it once I turned it into a smoothie in the blender.  Z. used his fingers to draw a diagram on the table to explain that it was both “yucky” because it tasted bad, and “yummy” because it had raspberries in it.  But the popovers were a rousing success, so I declare victory.

It was the day of CrankyGreg’s birthday celebration, and we had decided on an easy dinner – the great dumplings and steamed buns we can buy out of the freezer at our favorite local Asian market, followed by Greg’s favorite Black Forest cake (which made my theme-loving brain whirl round & round with shouts of “BUT THAT DOESN’T GO!”).

In any case, I was listening to NPR in the morning and heard the segment on Georgia peaches.  I started thinking about interesting things to do with peaches (not that they need any help from me), and thought about dinner and wondered how it would be to put them into a green papaya salad.

Have you tried this in Thai or Vietnamese restaurants?  The papaya is shredded and dressed with a tart, lightly sweet, and spicy dressing.  The papaya stays juicy and a little bit crispy/firm, and can be accompanied by tomatoes or carrots or other vegetables, or cilantro or basil, or all the above.  The overall effect is summery and refreshing, and it’s one of those things that goes terrifically with all sorts of food.

Normally, the dressing has chopped peanuts, fish sauce and shrimp paste in it – both terrific, pungent, salty items that are at the heart of much Southeast Asian cooking.  But Greg is allergic to peanuts, and two of his best friends are vegetarian, so some substitutions were in order.  The results were delicious, and vegan, and a great counterpart to the starchy buns and steamed dumplings.  And a little too spicy, which left us all coughing after the first few bites, but I’ve adjusted the recipe so you won’t.  And though I just left out the peanuts, I’ve included them here so you can put them back in where they belong.

Vegan Green Papaya Salad with Peaches
about 12 servings

• 1 green papaya
• 3 peaches
  
• 3 limes
• 1/4 cup honey
• 3 T. umeboshi vinegar
• 1 – 2 T. sriracha or other hot sauce
• 3 T. mild flavored oil
• 3 cloves garlic, chopped finely
  
• 1/4 c. chopped cilantro leaves
• 1/4 c. chopped basil
• 2 T. toasted peanuts, chopped

Peel the papaya and cut it crosswise.  Scrape out the seeds and then shred it.  I used the shredding blade on my food processor, but check out this for a much more impressive way to do this step.  Place in a large bowl.

Slice each peach into 8 or 10 pieces.  I usually do this by using a paring knife to make parallel cuts right to the pit all the way around, and then insert the knife and sort of scrape along the pit to free the slices.  Toss with papaya.

Juice the limes over the papaya and peaches, keeping out the pits.

In a separate bowl, combine honey, umeboshi vinegar, hot sauce, oil and garlic.  Toss with the papaya mix until thoroughly combined.  Add cilantro, basil and peanuts, toss once or twice and serve.